You Won’t Find The Answers On Social Media
Too many of us, myself included, are maniacally opening and closing apps in search of some solution that simply won’t be there. Whether you’re looking for happiness, self-worth, or career advancement, you likely aren’t going to find it on social media. Unless your dream is to actually be a social media influencer (which isn’t a very strong dream,) it’s not going to unfold through Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. The answers are internal, and the external work, more often than not, doesn’t entail tweeting or posting a photo.
These words are coming from me — someone who, since age 15, thought my tweets and videos would land me a career in comedy writing. I’m also someone who has unfortunately gauged a great deal of my self-worth based on the amount of likes I receive on internet platforms. There are 2 major, potentially dangerous issues with these approaches: Internet posts and even viral content don’t often materialize into anything, save for a spurt of validation. Additionally, the online attention fluctuates greatly, and if you feel okay with yourself after a Tweet goes viral, you probably are going to view yourself very negatively after a subsequent few weeks of nothing popping off.
You’re not a better you for someone posting a fire emoji beneath your photo. You’re not a worse you for only getting 3 likes. And while the dopamine rush from a post going viral feels temporarily great, it’s almost definitely not going to change your life. Here’s a sad anecdote for you — 2 years ago I had a Tweet go viral. It received over 100,000 likes, and was shared on prominent meme aggregate pages on Instagram. Over the course of 2 days, I couldn’t open my phone without a slew of notifications and texts from people saying, “I saw your tweet on Worldstar!” or “Tommy Chong just shared your joke!” I was so high on the hog, my delusional ass genuinely believed this was going to be a break. I figured this would draw attention to my Twitter page, and after some deep scrolling the right person would come to realize I’m a great joke writer. I went so far as to quit my retail sales job at Urban Outfitters, which was stupid but not ultimately a great mistake. A man can only make 11.50 an hour working part-time for so long before he loses it or starves to death.
The amazing thing about this viral tweet journey is nothing happened. 2 days after I quit my job, I had gained maybe 100 Twitter followers, but no aspects of my life or personal being changed. I went from feeling funny and hopeful to realizing I had to get another retail job. Not only did I not get offered an ideal writing job, I also didn’t even gain a much bigger following. This was yet another shot to my ego after so many previous, similar ventures on YouTube, Vine, and other apps.
Sure, the likes and attention from an online audience can build the ego, but they can break the ego even more easily. That’s why we can’t rely on internet friends and strangers to feel okay about ourselves, and we certainly can’t place our future in their hands. In my experience, these audiences don’t care what you’re doing until you post the next joke, funny video, or good picture. If you grow inconsistent, they care less, and god forbid you disappear for awhile they may forget entirely.
Happiness is found within. Self-worth is your own doing. Your future is dependent upon the work you put in, and selfies and Tweeting aren’t work. If we seek joy in anything external, we’ll find it for just a short period. We have to locate self-love through growth, and that growth comes from action — action that helps us feel good about ourselves in the long-term. Lakes, mountains, and natural beauty are the only external factors I know of that bring peace and contentment. These apps, for me, are the opposite of time spent in nature. Meditation, too, does for me what social media cannot. In fact, I’ve had to use meditation to fix the years of damage I did to myself with platforms like YouTube, Twitter, and Vine. Don’t be a me, who spent over a decade relying on online validation to feel alright with myself. Don’t be a me, who for so long thought the right post might change my life for the better. The potential to change is in you, and only you. It’s right next to the self-love and serenity.
