Mundane Work Living of the Communications Major
Fresh out of school with a bachelor’s, no job in your field, and an early glimpse of cruel reality — one of the scariest times in your life. Some are very in tune with their passions, and fully aware of what they’d like to pursue, ideally. Others might know what they want but be without what it takes to reach that point. On the opposite end, many of us haven’t the slightest idea what the hell we’re doing.
You’re never alone in your loss of purpose. You’re not the only one who’s confused as to what you’re here for or where you’d serve the world most meaningfully. In fact, those in fear and confusion are the majority. Those who aren’t? Probably lying to themselves.
Since graduating from a fine university with a Communications degree (yikes!) last May, I’ve spent a great deal of time serving in different roles and trying a variety of jobs. All in an effort to find what I truly love. Or what I’m most gifted at, which is beginning to look like nothing. I’ve have a rough go of it thus far.
My first gig, selling lotion at a kiosk in the mall, ended abruptly before I could even find the zest for it. Apparently you can’t sensually apply cocoa butter to your thighs while vibing to Flo Rida’s mid-2000s club bangers, being played from the strobe light bluetooth speaker you stole from another mall kiosk. Nor can you offer to spank women’s feet, or speak in a Turkish accent just because “it seems right.” Long story short they unrightfully canned me after just 45 minutes on the job.
The next chapter of work life saw more exhilaration. I had the opportunity to put my sexual prowess and powerful glutes to use as a sign twirler for a failing water ice stand. All was well for a few months. Hitting splits, pop lock and dropping, and making my ass clap all while rigorously spinning the hell out of a cardboard advertisement for half off gelatos. Passerbys honked, horned up and vicariously invigorated through my routines. Elderly smuts tossed wide, stank panties at my vibrating flawless body while shouting obscene compliments like, “I’d have consensual sex with you!”
I was high on the hog with this job. Until my boss caught me in the stand’s storage closet smoking Ritalin, of course. How else was a man supposed to perform with such erotic force while not on uppers? He snatched my tinfoil, forced me out the door, and stole the remainder of my pills for personal use. I was yet again in a terrified, desperate position.
When one door closes another one opens, as they say. An admirer of my sign twirler work called up, asking if I’d like to be a bouncer at Popeye’s Chicken. It was in a rough neighborhood, littered with street urchins, so the restaurant manager needed a buff individual like myself to toss out unruly teens and crackheads. Turns out I wasn’t as physically capable as I would have liked to believe. On day one a group of black 4th graders, not that race is important to the story, called me a “cop” and a “cracker” before mercilessly beating the shit out of me and burning Newports on my spindly arms. My manager joined in, and that was that.
This brings me to now. I’m currently working as a teacher’s aide at a preschool that only admits Korean children. Cultural differences aside, it’s a very quaint place to work. Constant busy work. Low crime. It’s a fairly cake role, or you might say “egg roll,” haha. It’s borderline ideal, except for the fact that they pay me solely in fabric softener and Black & Mild wine wood tips. I’m starving, yet consistently smelling fresh with a solid nicotine buzz going. With a strong work ethic I can hopefully start getting compensated with money. Until then I’m making due.
Nobody said post-graduation life would be easy, especially with a useless liberal arts degree. I signed up for it, and have been forced to deal with my decision. If you’re in the same rocky boat; jumping from mundane job to mundane job while attempting to pursue your real passion, just know it gets better. It hasn’t for me, but I like to assume it will. Also, if you have a child age 4 to 6 who would like a good education and happens to be Korean, get in contact with me at gurskyman@gmail.com. God bless.
